"Everyone had their thing"

During spring break Blaine, Aislin and I met up with one of Blaine’s friends, PJ, and his mom. Shortly after Blaine was discharged from the hospital and back at school PJ’s mom reached out to me. I didn’t, and still to a degree, have the energy to tell everyone I know about how diabetes is now part of our life. I haven’t made a Facebook announcement, I’m not on twitter or instagram, and I usually only like to talk about positive things with others. My journaling and hit or miss blogging is where I get my negativity out. I don’t feel that I’m completely in a good place to be positive about diabetes yet, so I’d prefer not to talk about it. With my closest friends, I will tell them exactly how I feel, but with most people I just prefer to steer the conversation elsewhere.

What I didn’t expect when PJ’s mom, Maria, left me a voicemail, was her telling me that she also has Type 1 diabetes. Whoa. I realized once she left the message that all those times she leaned over to check what I thought was her beeper, she was checking her pump. Maria is a school counselor at a high school in our county. I assumed that for whatever reason, she wore a beeper for emergencies, although I knew she had a cell phone. I just thought with county budgeting, maybe they still used beepers. In her message she told me that she knew that I’d be busy, but to call her back at my convenience. I knew it would be a while before I was ready to talk so I sent her a text and thanked her for calling and told her I’d get in touch soon.

A month later, I felt like I could talk. I knew I’d have a ton of questions, but at the same time I really didn’t want to be forward or nosey, but I knew if anyone would understand and have answers to some of my questions, it would be her. I asked if they wanted to meet at a local pizza place for lunch during spring break, being that we both had the luxury of a week off. That lunch was probably one of the most important lunches I’ve ever had. During our two hour lunch Maria normalized the process for me. She told me “everyone has their thing”. For her son, it was learning to cope with ADHD. For her it is coping with her diabetes. She stays incredibly fit, she eats healthy, she listens to her body and takes care of herself. She manages a career and takes care of her son, who stays busy with travel ball and other commitments.

She told me when PJ found out that Blaine had diabetes, he became very sad for him. Because he knew what it meant. He has spent his whole life watching his mother check her blood, manage her pump and take care of herself. He was so sad that one of his friends now had to do the same.

I can’t remember everything we discussed. I know we talked about numbers, and pumps. We talked about exercise and diet, I told her that we had our first eye doctor appointment for a retina scan, since blindness is now another risk factor.

I just remember that being with her was such a comfort for me. She was entering her freshman year of college when she was diagnosed. She still finished college, and graduate school and had a child. Yes, diabetes sucks. It is an inconvenience, but it is something that can be managed.

Everyone has their thing. Each time I see Blaine touching his finger tips to find the best spot to prick, or patting at his arms, legs or stomach to find the least sore spot for his next injection, I honestly want to sit down and cry. Or go into a rage and destroy everything around me. Or scream and beg a surgeon to remove my pancreas and give it to him. Just give me his pancreas. Let it be me! Let me do the shots and finger pricks! He is just a child. A sweet little boy that never deserved any of this. But, then I hear Maria’s voice, telling me “everyone has their thing.” And I know that it is true. He will be fine. He will cope with this, and so will I. After all, it’s our only option. Seeing her and knowing that she copes every day gives me hope.